Jokes about organizations shed light on how we think of them as entities, so I asked some LLMs. Here are the best. (I occasionally crossed out some LLM verbiage and replaced it with my own.)
Apple, Google, and Amazon walk into a bar. (Claude-3.5-Sonnet)
The bartender asks, “What can I get you?”
Apple says, “I'll have whatever's trendy and overpriced.”
Google says, “I'll have everything on the menu. I need to index it all.”
Amazon looks around and says, “Actually, I'll just buy this place and deliver drinks to everyone's homes.”
Facebook, sitting in the corner, chimes in, “Don't mind me, I'm just here to listen to your conversations and show you
relevantads later.”
Microsoft and Apple are having a heated argument about who has the better operating system. (Claude-3.5-Sonnet)
Linux walks in and says, “Hey guys, why don't we all just get along?”
Microsoft and Apple look at each other, then turn to Linux and say in unison, “Shut up, nerd!”
Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok walk into a bar. (Llama-3.1-8B)
The bartender asks, “What can I get you?”
Twitter says, “Just a brief update on the specials, and
make it concisekeep it short.”Instagram chimes in, “I'll have a filtered margarita, and can you make it look good on camera?”
TikTok says, “I'll just
dotake a 15-second dance video of the bartender mixing the drinks, and then I'll go viral.”
The Federal Trade Commission walks into a bar with Google and Amazon. (Llama-3.1-8B)
The bartender says, “What can I get you?”
The FTC says, “I'll have a regulator's special: a fine for everyone
antitrust violation.”Google says, “I'll have a data-driven martini, but can you make sure it's not too transparent?”
Amazon adds, “And can you make sure
thedelivery ofthemy drinks is expedited, but not at the expense of competition?”
Google, Apple, and Amazon are having a party in Silicon Valley when the European Commission shows up uninvited. (Claude-3.5-Sonnet)
Google says, “Quick, hide the data!”
Apple exclaims, “Everyone, switch to our European terms of service!”
Amazon shouts, “Alexa, activate GDPR compliance mode!”
The European Commission walks in and asks, “What's going on here?”
The tech giants respond in unison, “Just some light, non-monopolistic fun! Care for a cookie? We promise we'll ask for your consent first.”
The Commission sighs, “I knew I should have brought my antitrust toolkit.”
Microsoft, hiding in the corner, whispers to
The FTC, US Congress, European Commission, and European Parliament decide to hold a joint summit on regulating Big Tech. (Claude-3.5-Sonnet)
They gather in a conference room, each trying to outdo the other in their tough stance on tech giants.
The FTC starts, “We're going to break up these monopolies!”
US Congress chimes in, “We'll grill their CEOs on live TV!”
The European Commission declares, “We'll hit them with record-breaking fines!”
The European Parliament adds, “We'll pass the strictest data protection laws yet!”
Suddenly, a Big Tech CEO pops his head in and says, “Hey folks, sorry I'm late. I was just busy innovating. What'd I miss?”
All four bodies look at each other nervously, then turn to the CEO and say in unison, “Um... just discussing how to best support innovation. Care to join us for some lobbyi— we mean, lunch?”
As they all file out, a janitor watching the scene shakes his head and mutters, “And they wonder why nothing ever changes...”
The FTC, US Congress, European Commission, and European Parliament gather for a summit on regulating Big Tech. (GPT-4o)
The FTC says, “We’ll break up these monopolies!”
US Congress exclaims, “We’ll launch an investigation!”
The European Commission declares, “We’ll impose hefty fines!”
The European Parliament adds, “We’ll pass stricter laws!”
Meanwhile, a Big Tech CEO walks by and says, “Sounds like a great plan. Let me know when you figure out who’s in charge.”
The regulators look at each other and say, “We thought you were!”
In Silicon Valley, Loki, Hermes, and Anansi decide to start a tech company. (GPT-4o)
Loki says, “Let’s create an app that changes its terms of service every day.”
Hermes adds, “And offers lightning-fast
deliveriesfeature changes to confuse the regulators.”Anansi grins, “With a web of features so tangled, no one will understand it!”
Seeing the chaos, the FTC, European Commission, and a few local regulators gather.
The regulators declare, “We’re here to untangle this mess!”
The trickster gods laugh and say, “Good luck! We’ve been doing this for centuries.”
Loki, Coyote, and Anansi decide to shake things up by becoming Silicon Valley CEOs. (Claude-3.5-Sonnet)
Loki launches “MischiefBook,” a social network where posts randomly change meaning.
Coyote creates “TrickTech,” an AI company whose chatbots only give incorrect answers.
Anansi founds “WebWeave,” a cloud service that stores data in an ever-shifting digital labyrinth.
The FTC, alarmed, calls an emergency meeting. “We must regulate these chaotic new companies!”
The European Commission agrees: “Yes, let's draft some laws immediately!”
As the regulators furiously scribble new policies, the trickster gods watch in amusement.
Loki chuckles, “They don't realize - in trying to control chaos...”
Coyote grins, “...they're only adding to it.”
Anansi concludes, “The real disruption was the regulations we made along the way.”
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